Gawking

A Black man (gay if that matters any) was in my inbox last night. He used to live in Guatemala and now lives in Mexico which is where I met him. I don’t really fool with him but I keep him around because he’s lived in Mexico for almost 20 years. He has a history of doing things I don’t like so I only fool with him in a group setting.

Anyway, he messaged me last night about the AfroGuatemalans then showed me Miss Black Guatemala. I found out it’s just a local competition because you know having a Negra represent the country would never go down. I didn’t know it was local before saying well why the hell do they keep staring at me then? Yes, it’s pretty damn bad here with the gawking and the staring. And also I went to a spa here and they took a picture of me WITHOUT MY PERMISSION then posted it on their Facebook page. I told them to TAKE THAT SHIT DOWN and reported it to Facebook too so if they try to be sly it won’t post.

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He proceeds to tell me that is admiration. Excuse me? So someone taking pics without your permission and just looking ugly gawking at you while eating or shopping or doing WHATEVER is admiration now? I was eating today at a restaurant and a man stopped to gawk at me looking all evil.

He told me just like in Mexico…NO this has NEVER happened there. People don’t gawk at me and surely ain’t out flashing pics of me. I’m left the hell alone. Then he says I don’t know why Black women don’t like to be admired. I told him look we can go back and forth all damn day about this but THAT IS NOT ADMIRATION. That’s looking at you like you’re a freak show or sometimes even being sexualized.

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I told him there are numerous threads in another group about this same topic. People putting a camera in your face, gawking, following you around, touching you, etc etc…but it’s admiration huh?!?

He is now blocked and I don’t give a care in the world. Don’t ever tell me how to feel 1. As a BLACK WOMAN 2. Then proceed to tell me “I don’t know why Black women don’t like this”. When I’m clearly telling you it’s wrong what another person is doing. 3. You’re not a Black woman your damn self. You don’t walk in my shoes every day.

Too bad because I’m sure I’ll run into him eventually in Mexico City, but what can I do? My motto is: Life is too short for fuckery. I have no time for games.

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Elyse Y. Robinson


Without a plan, Elyse Y. Robinson moved to México City after her mother passed away from blood cancer on November 11, 2016. She never heard of México City nor even visited México before. She just knew she had to escape America to mourn. She had quit her whole life to help her family anyway. She had nothing more to lose. She is going into her fourth year in México and she is there to stay!




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